What to give someone who has lost a pet
There is no right thing to say when a dog or cat has died. A small, thoughtful gift can say it for you. Here is what to give, and what to write.
Start with the card
Say the pet's name. Say one thing you remember: the way he waited by the gate, the sock she always stole. People do not want to be told it was only a dog. They want to know the dog mattered to you too.
A print that names them
Beauty Without Vanity can be personalised with the pet's name and the years. It carries the line from Byron's epitaph to his Newfoundland, Boatswain, who died in 1808: "Beauty without Vanity, Strength without Insolence, Courage without Ferocity". It is a quiet print, and it is one the person will still have in twenty years.
For the reader
If the owner reads, Literary Dogs is four great dogs of fiction, from Bull's-eye to Buck, and is a more gentle gift when the person is not yet ready for anything with a name on it.
What not to do
Do not ask whether they will get another one. Do not give a replacement. Give them time, then give them something that says the one they had was loved.
When to give it
A card straight away is kind. The print can wait a week or two, until the first rush of condolences has passed, because that is when people feel it most.
Browse: Beauty Without Vanity.
Questions
- What is a good gift for someone who has lost a pet?
- A personal card and a keepsake with the pet's name on it: a personalised print, a framed photo, or a small memorial item.
- What do you say to someone whose pet has died?
- Say the pet's name and one memory. Avoid "at least" and "it was only", and offer to help in a practical way.